im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So many bounce houses so little time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
