Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
