Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
