does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
