i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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