8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
