This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
