My brain says no but my pants say off.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
