I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
