I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
