In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
