Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
