She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
