I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
