Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
