We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize