I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
