i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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