We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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