Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
