you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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