Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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