U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
