dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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