omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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