Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
