The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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