I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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