Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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