Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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