at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
