FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
