why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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