escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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