Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the day after is always just damage control
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
