If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
