Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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