I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
