I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
