Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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