Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
