if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize