Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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