Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
