The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
