fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
