Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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