Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
