Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
bring money and cleavage
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
