I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
