I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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