Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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