Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize