so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you would pick up someone in the library
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
