Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
