Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
