R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
