Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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