She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hippo gnu deer
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
