i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
