so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize