Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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